“A man is lucky to be alive after an outing on the North Fork River,” reads the lead sentence of a report from KY3.com, the website of television station KYTV in Springfield, Missouri.

All we can say is Russ Cochran seems willing to do anything to get in Scoop. Last week it was relaunching The EC Archives, this week it’s getting pulled under by the undertow and sucked through a hole in a dam.

“Russ Cochran was pulled in by an undertow that sent him underneath the dam at Dawt Mill — and he popped out on the other side,” the site reported. “Cochran says he was well aware that there was a hole in the dam that allowed the water to flow through instead of over the dam, but he didn’t know about another hole under the water line that was causing the undertow.”

They reported that Cochran and his four dogs all were sucked under the dam. 

“He received only minor cuts and bruises, for which he says he’s grateful,” they said.

We are, too.